A few thoughts about Zimbabwe

When I think of Zimbabwe I am definitely left with sympathy like any other outsider would given Zimbabwe's current chaos. Whatever happened to the country along the way I was not around enough to keep track of but there is one side of it I am keen to notice. Amongst all the current African leaders none has actually been quick to judge the situation. None had told the man from Southern Rhodesia in the magnitude that Raila Odinga is doing.

Raila Odinga is the concern of my wanting to blog because I clearly fail to understand the undivided devotion he has into 'saving' Zimbabwe. My concern would not be substantial if the words I heard from the current Kenyan Prime Minister came from the mouths of Yoweri Museveni or even President Yahya to say the least. Raila has been a Prime Minister for not longer than a year and he decisively thinks he can yell us that whatever he is saying is not coming from the United States of America.

To me the States is the answer to quite a lot of questions in my mind but the fact that their 'stakes' in Zimbabwe Rhodesia are almost nil, they can dare use a third party to convey their message. To me that is what America is. For as long as the poor country has nothing to offer in return America can as well watch as the population suffers consistently.

I am looking forward to the day a powerful front will unite against Mugabe simply because I am human but then again it needs to be done quick and directly. By powerful front I do not exclude the United Kingdom, Russia, China or even Russia and whoever the United Nations has mandate over although their chances are minimal considering that Mugabe knows the game.

Thinkers Room-The Anatomy of a Kenyan MP

Meet Jack Arse, MP. The initial urge to smack his fat head can be overwhelming, but if you keep your hands in your pocket all will be well. This feeling is intermittent but on the whole it is wise to keep your hands in your pockets.

Jack insists on being referred to as the ‘Honourable’ Jack Arse, despite the fact that this gentleman is nothing remotely of the kind.

He is the living testament that stupidity is an entirely relative term. Between the 30 million people and the 250 Members of Parliament, most of whom lack the intelligence to hit the water if they fell out of a boat while wearing a suit of armour, it is indeed debatable which of the two groups, as someone once said, “wallows in a miasma of crass stupidity”.

Armani, Boss and Laurent need look no further than Jack for that fond, mellow feeling that honest work done lovingly and skilfully well brings to a skilled craftsman. Well cut and well stitched silk, with buttons able to withstand the considerable assault of an obscenely protuberant stomach can only be fashioned by a chosen few. A blind eye can be turned by these craftsmen to the fact that Jack on occasion appears in public with pink trousers and a yellow coat with a blue shirt and a orange tie. On a good day Jack is like a Boeing 747– you hear him well before you actually see him.

Jack’s vocabulary is quite unlike that of the rest of us. He proudly refers to the lengthy heated debates with his bosom friend D Mwitt about the oil content of the parliamentary cafeteria samosas as “healthy democratic expression”. When this degenerates into an ungraceful exchange of fleshy fists and fatty kicks, peppered with biting and scratching this is referred to as “increased democratic space”.

Jack has no qualms about appearing with his arm fondly around the shoulders of D Mwitt in public on Monday. He is also has no problem appearing on Tuesday with his foot appearing to have been grafted into the back of D Mwitt’s trouser seat. On Wednesday both will be clinging to each other in tearful laughter, the very epitome of friendship that has withstood the corrosive effects of the sands of time.

Jack has been heard on several occasions to express puzzled surprise that 30 million Kenyans do not understand the back breaking work he does tirelessly for them. He is amazed that we do not find it obvious that 10 minutes a day idling at the parliamentary cafeteria establishing the calcium content of Castle Milk Stout while awaiting instructions from the Chief Whip to vote for white instead of cream napkins for the parliamentary picnic is work not for the faint of heart.

The threat of his pointed crocodile skin moccasins giving him corns as he queues for his innumerable allowances are the very exemplification of sacrificing for the benefit of his fellow countrymen. Risking paper cuts from the crisp thousand shilling notes is what separates the ordinary Kenyan from the true patriot.

Suffering from having his considerable hindquarters wedged in the confines of an airline seat as he flies to Mombasa for a conference of parliamentary procedures, details of which are conveniently and perpetually available in the parliamentary library he is leaving behind, is standing at the front line of the Calvary charge in the service of his countrymen.

Some of his constituents have trouble recognizing Jack whenever he appears in public because whenever they see him on TV in the house, his eyes are invariably closed and his snoring is shaking the rafters of the house.

When it comes to unity, the Holy Trinity can learn a thing of two from Jack and his 249 colleagues. Any issue to do with their personal welfare unites the 250 in ways that atoms could do well to take note. Bills such as increasing their own remuneration pass quicker than milk through a small boy suffering from diarrhoea. Light needs to spend more time in the gym in order to move as fast as a motion suggesting increased perks and the passing of the said motion.

Jack’s latest favourite word is “dialogue”. Dialogue is the solution to anything. Had too much roast beef for lunch and suffering from the effects? Dialogue. Pesky constituents harassing you with requests for services? Dialogue. AC Milan lost to Liverpool? Dialogue. Suffering from a sore throat? Dialogue. Jack and his colleague could dialogue the jawbone off a donkey.

Jack is one of the few people on this earth who can convincingly deny utterances he has made that have been captured on film. His outrage, shock and disappointment, followed by a loud and almost incoherent denial has to be seen to be believed. Video footage showing him actually say the things he is denying leave him unmoved an unimpressed. If anything the footage brings out the conspiracy theory in him.

“Money has been poured to finish me politically” Jack declares, frothing at the mouth. “I have powerful enemies. The Media also have a hidden agenda jealous of my success!”

Jack’s myopia is such that Optica and Baus Optical, two of Nairobi’s leading dispensers of spectacles and contact lenses have declared him as unwelcome in their premises. The instant a corrupt official that Jack grew up with is arrested on corruption charges, Jack wastes no time in thrusting his ample, sweaty face in camera lens.

“It is victimizing our community”, he bleats into the camera. “It is our turn to eat!”, he adds as an afterthought.

Jack additionally clamours for promotions purely on merit, as his latest press release reads. It was a coordinated effort with participation from a good number of his ministerial staff. Written by his brother, typed by his sister, proof read by his third cousin on his mother’s side and mailed by his first born son, the press release rails at government officials with the temerity to recruit only their kith and kin. As his childhood village sweetheart brings him his morning tea, he observes to her that such practices would be the death of the nation. He also asks whether fresh documents have been sent to his wife and sister in law, co-chairs of his Constituency Development Fund.

His aversion to the mud tracks, dust and insects of his rural constituency are legendary. The only time he is spotted there he is invariably in tropical suits that Livingstone and Stanley would have envied, complete with hats with netting like contraption to keep out the rural air and insects. He is only seen there during election campaigns and funerals, and it is during funerals that he can overlook the casket with the dead body and the bereaved family and begin vocally and fluently describe just what he thinks of his political opponents.

At present Jack is currently on one of his many recesses, but we expect to see him soon, fast asleep, mouth open and dribbling onto the leather of the August House as he attends the reading of the budget.

The Virus to talk about;HIV

HIV/AIDS is one topic that has continued to attack the third world countries with a growing hurricane-like velocity. People and organizations have tried to bisect the real problem that is keeping people in the hole instead of pulling them out. The findings are not all that exciting because it all comes back to the simple basic issue namely lack of proper education. This piece of information is no news. It would be surprising though how 25 years a period of more than a decade could not drive the point home. It continues to disturb my mind how a few 30 million in a typical third world country would not be well informed about a menace.
Then again there is a second case scenario whereby the game ball shifts to the people now. Is there a possibility of people being over-ignorant to such a detrimental extent? Could it be that all education lands on deaf ears? Could it be that non-profit organisations siphon charity money to their own pockets in stead of carrying on their divine task of educating the masses?

In my opinion the solution lies in government action and more investment into the sector lest the rate of lives lost to the menace grows exponentially. Governments should directly provide the help needed to curb the problem not through organizations of charity because in the days we are in today you never know who is and who is not for charity.
Typical examples can be exuded from first world countries which devoted an enormous amount of funds into the education in the earlier days of infections. They turned every stone so it became very easy for them to rest unwary of snakes. The third world countries should follow the same steps although it is late. Better late than never.

Speaking of C

When we talk about going green, what do we really mean? According to my understanding that should imply reducing carbons emission at our age and day. How can we achieve this if we keep on procrastinating these issues for later dates. Why cant we be brave enough to take the costs at our shoulders and spend more to emit less C. Of course it is not in line with anything economics taught me but in making it common practice, we reduce the obvious competitive advantage that every country fears in its own different ways.
Problems arise mainly in one stage, execution. I thought to myself this is so and sure enough it would be hard to every normal man. Each country is different in its own way meaning effects of the subjects at discussion varies as we cross a border. Having so many borders to cross and in short so many differences to overcome is definitely the problem. Massive consumers of petroleum products for example the USA, China, Britain, Russia, Australia and many more would feel the pinch real hard as compared to countries that only need these products as a supplement, like most of Africa. It is very hard to try to convince the big consumers that they need to make such big steps as opt for other energy sources or even worse contribute to developing alternative energy sources for the future. It is hard in deed. Being so should we leave it until the critical point where it will be costly to even emit more carbon. Should we wait for more signs of pollution than is already available to us. Personally, i would want it to be different but mine is only one voice.
Why do we fear making the bold virgin step? Maybe we should wait...

Why not unite for the world's sakes?

Its yet another year that the World Trade talks have collapsed and this to me seems to be a tradition now. I often ask myself why we have turned into such hardliners when it comes to dealing with an equitable future. Every nation now strives to outdo the other and in so doing those with weak foundations shall continue to lure in poverty. Attention has shifted so much into strategies on how big industries can survive if oil producers decide to withhold produce, on how coalitions can merge to reduce barriers of trade. We have forgotten that in order to move forward we have to move as a team. We all know these big countries am talking about are not in the third world countries (with exception of a few). As years cruise, the exponential curve of poor countries and continents is bound to stiffen to the undesired side. The theory shall hold, the poor will grow poorer...

If no effort is made towards harmonising economic power the development we so much want can not take place because factually these countries we are leaving behind make up a percentage of the consumer population even if it is negligible for now. If we chose to go this way, we will definitely achieve a lot in the short and medium term, but what we will have missed out on is the long term. It is the long term that matters the most. The long term we should be creating for generations to come.

I tend to think efforts should be unanimous in creating a sustainable economic platform that does not choke the poor to their graves but in stead harnesses and pools their resources inclusively to design a world that is equitable and at the same time thoughtful of its upbringing.

This may not be easy but we should try harder together because we have been trying it in disunity.